First birthday cake smash family photographer // ©2016 Sun & Sparrow
FROM ARIA’S MOM // Where to start? From day one in the womb this whole process was a surprise. Our Aria was a surprise pregnancy! Because her pregnancy was so sudden, I did not have a chance to mentally prepare myself for being a mother. I found that when Aria did arrive, I was also not prepared for a very fussy and hard to deal with infant. Being a mother was nothing like how I imagined it would be. Never have I felt so many opposite emotions, those of such deep love and those of so much fear. I feel like my first year with my baby, Aria, was a challenging one. The more that I lived with my opposing emotions, the more I found it hard to deal with the guilt of feeling all of my uncertainty. Anything other than joy and love brought on extreme guilt in myself toward our new baby. Now, don’t get me wrong, I definitely felt moments of pure love, joy and wonder for her, but there were equal times where I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and walk away.
As she grew through the year, I realized that the best way to completely love my child, is to lean on my amazing partner, Andy. Aria and I have our wonderful Andy (Hubby & Daddy) who kept us calm when things were close to boiling over. Andy has been our rock through this whole year, through happy moments and struggles. There were times where I had questioned my own identity and faith having such a challenging child. As things began to get into a routine with a nine month old, he reminded me how it was so hard in the beginning. Thankfully, as Aria is growing into her personality, I can see her changing from being a needy baby into a cute self-sufficient toddler. I am truly blessed to see her little personality bloom before my eyes.
Aria has changed a great deal and is becoming more pleasant and beautiful with her maturities. It’s amazing to see that as she’s grown, Andy and I have also grown a great deal with her and learned a lot about love and life. We can now see that she’s silly, sweet, loving, brave, and curious, but she’s definitely also sassy, stubborn, and loves to push mama’s buttons. All of her personality or no, I wouldn’t trade her for anything or anyone. She’s our little adorable terror; a precious and scary gift from God <3